I NEVER watch Superstars, but was home sick so WTF???
Lawler (61 fucking years old and still throws a dropkick!) & Scott Stanford open show. This Stanford dude is a GREAT announcer! Where the hell is he from? At one point he called a Saito suplex! Plus he has timing and knows how to be a straight man when Lawler reads his Henny Youngman jokes!!!
Woo Woo Woo Zac Ryder is up first vs Harry Smith. That Smith is strong as a fucking OX. He seems a little goofy though? I never met the kid, but he's a three inch taller version of his dad...Anyway, Ryder is straddled with that stupid gimmick, but if i made his money i'd do it too. I guess this show gives mid-card guys some time to work and get evaluated, as they gave these guys time. It's funny, if you disguised these two and put the same match on an independent show fans would write the observer to say, that they are future top guys, and the match is three stars. Yet working in a WWE ring, they'd proclaim D.H. Smith is being held back, and Ryder is horrible. Most "SMART" fans are truly Dumb Fans. Anyway, Smith goes over and the highlight was the long vertical suplex (which aint easy from either position) with some canned crowd noise.
They then show an NXT update where it amazes me how many stud athletes (and hot chicks for that matter) want to be WWE wrestlers!!! Some huge, tattood kid, dropped Diesel's name which made me laugh. With kids getting bigger, stronger, and faster, I think WWE will last forever.
Darren (Black Cena) Young & Yoshi Tatsu went against Rikishi's kids-The Uso twins...Another point is, Tatsu (nice guy by the way) would be a main guy on indy matches, and some would call him a "best in the world," type if he was with the right guy. They fail to realize that great matches are only one aspect of the BUSINESS. It's The Wrestling BUSINESS. I appreciate a great worker, but three 9 year olds want a John Cena T-Shirt. You feel me? Only a small niche (comparatively to who butter's Vince's bread) get in to classic wrestling, unless the two are OVER in WWE like Taker/HBK. That's enough, it's Christmas, the rest will be positive, sans a few jokes...Uso's have a cool ally oop Samoan Drop finish, and went over. It's funny, Vince seems to need a samoan on his roster at all times. I'm not complaining, as AFA might be the nicest guy I ever met, just saying.
They re-capped the Vickie thing with Cena from Austin. She has to have some thick ass skin (no pun intended) as she will be in an eternal clip from that night. People HATE her.
Matt Stryker and some other new announcer came out for the main event. A Diva's tag match with Beth Phoenix & Kelly Kelly vs LayCool. I could give two shits about women's wrestling as nobody is going at it like Jaguar Yakota vs Lioness Asuka that were better than most men, but God Damn!!! All the hot girls growing up want to be wrestlers!!! It's like the Bizarro World? Beth Phoenix is portrayed as "The Glamazon'' and not pushed for being sexy, but I guarantee you, if you saw her at a bar, you'd shit yourself at how hot she is...Anyway, Laycool did the job. Mccool doesn't need implants, as she is frigging awesome looking and a good worker to boot. Kelly Kelly is ridiculously attractive, and still hanging in with the Barbie Doll looks. Bumps hurt people, your body gets used to them, but they hurt, and I would have never figured Kelly to last this long. Kudos. And Layla was a Miami Heat cheerleader. I forget the match, as I just dig the chicks.
Then it was time for TNA Wrestling...Immortal opens with Flair & Bischoff on mike. Didn't they hate each other's guts for years??? Then Matt Morgan comes out to do a P.S.A. for concussions. Dunno where they are going, but neither do they-Hii-Yoooo!!! Anyway, Morgan is the most gifted dude that just can't get over. I can't figure it out? Foley comes out to a huge pop and defends not wrestling with a concussion! Flair & Bischoff said what they had been saying and thinking of Mick for years in an AWESOME segment for those "in the know." The insider talk doesn't do shit for the ratings, but I'm in that small niche that I insulted earlier who loves this shit. Foley was bested by Flair & Bischoff which is a first as Mick is a GREAT talker.
They have a bunch of vignettes that I won't talk about but I think are pretty cool. The product is much different than WWE, but not as appealing to the mainstream. I wish Mcmahon would buy them out too, and not squash it. People watch WWE for the company name. They have so much talent in their locker room, that it's a crime nobody cares.
Jeff Jarrett is doing the funniest old school mock gimmick of MMA that reminds me of Memphis meets Tuesday Night Titans. It's obvious he's done some MMA, as he does know the moves, but incorporating it into pro wrestling and building to a payoff with Samoa Joe is hillarrious. I wish people would at least give this a chance, as it's CLASSIC. He challenges Amazing Red, and then the heel cornerman puts vasoline in his eye, so Jeff can squash him and put the anklelock on. Great stuff. He then runs around the ring like a UFC guy. Funniest shit I've seen in years.
Jay lethal joins the desk, and sucks as a commentator!!! The reason I say that, is he was soo awesome on the mike doing Flair & Savage. It was suprising that it didn't translate, but anyway they had a four way with Robbie E (I think Rob Eckos that Tom Brandi got a job, but that's just a guess) who does a Jersey Shore gimmick vs Frankie Kazarian (who's married to Traci Brooks that I just met and she's way good looking who's a guy who has "it." I think) vs both members of Generation Me. Generation Me/Young Bucks look only 16 and though talented, seem like backyard gymnasts. Imagine if Bradshaw was sharing a locker room with these guys??? Ah, I have to stop, I said I wouldn't disrespect the next generation...They had a spot filled match where Kazarian won...Kaz is a good looking dude (no homo) and Brooks is way better looking than I previously thought when I saw her in person. If they have a kid, look out Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie.
Back to hotness, Sarita (who was never portrayed as good looking, just a good worker) attacks my favorite female on Planet Earth~Velvet Mother Fucking Sky. I'd blow Chris Sabin, just to get a taste of her, but anyway, they did a pretty convincing backstage chick fight to take Velvet out of the title match!
That angle set up Angelina Love and her lesbian stalker Katie Lee Burchill to beat Tara (love brunettes) & Madison for the straps. Again, who cares (though Tara can wrestle) but they all look great.
Doug Williams vs A.J. Styles was next. Again, WWE crowd would be getting popcorn & Cena shirts, but these two put on a frigging clinic. I only wish I could do one tenth of what these guys did. The chain wrestling was remarkable. Ended in a draw.
Show ended with a four way RVD, Beer Money, Machine Guns, Jeff Hardy, Morgan, and I dunno? I fell asleep. good show for smart fan perverts like me, but the ratings clearly state that TNA says to mainstream, "You can't see me!" Till next time.
TR
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