TNA Impact!

I'm pretty sure Raw is gonna be the only thing I'll give my f'd up views on, as this was tough.

Show started with a montage of a VERY THICK Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy. Match looked great, and everyone says that Angle is the current HBK in that when you get done working with him, you clearly feel you were in with the best. He looked lean for a bit, but now looks to be gassed.

They opened with an Eric Bischoff w/ Miss Tessmacher ( who has a bad ass stripper body, but why fly her in when those chicks are a dime a dozen? ) who made a 3 way deal, but was trumped by Dixie Carter who made Angle face Hardy in the main event to see who works with Mr. Anderson at PPV. Dixie is a very wealthy, decent looking, southern woman, but stay in the back toots. You aren't Vince. These segments suck.

The Pope ( aka Elijah Burke from WWE, but more impressive Elijah Burke from OVW who overcame a ton of adversity in his life and that dude has my respect ) a face says wassup to Twitter King Kevin Nash, and Sting who are heels???

Then for no reason they show Tommy Dreamer getting gas. Actual gas, not the monster's that shoot out his fat ass.

Samoa Joe ( who was once thought of as the best wrestler in the world? ) with Jeff ( I stole Kurt Angle's wife, to prove pussy does make you crazy ) Jarrett vs Kevin Nash ( who looks awesome for 50 ) w/ Sting ( I am an evangelist like my brother, but if I get paid I'll do heel shit as God knows it's a work ) in a standard brawl. I personally know that Joe could murder me, but that fucking guy's body is atrocious. If I was Nash, I'd probably be tweeting I was quitting too. Anyway, I forgot who went over. The only thing I was thinking was Sting is still in good enough shape to have his only WWE run. Why not go? Work an extra year and work with Taker at Mania. It would draw, set him up for life, and he'd finally get his due respect.

Madison Rayne ( lookin kinda chunky ) sees Lacey Von Erich who's always in a towel? Lacey is highly disliked from what I gather ( especially from Taz ) but no doubt gorgeous, and also she lost her dad when she was like five or six? I was with her Adonis like father who was very troubled three weeks prior to his suicide. That shit at six years old had to be devastating, so I try not to say anything negative about her.

Nash ( looking like Bobby Duncum with his hair down ) and Sting get yet another vignette?

Hogan's favorite impressionist Jay Lethal goes over on Doug Williams for the X-Division Title! Now, first of all, Williams is a good/great worker, but why fly a guy in from fucking England. Unless he has frequent flier shit and trans' himself, is he really drawing any money or ratings? They are losing their TV in the UK, so I see no upside. Plus The Horsemen never had an English Dude? Makes no sense to me? Lethal is a feel good story, and from all accounts a good dude, so I'm happy for him, and his Flair and Savage voices are spot on.

Abyss is dragging someone who he later brands with 10/10/10 as "THEY ARE COMING?" THEY better deliver, or this company will be under within a year.

Knockout match had non hot lesbian stuff. Hamada smacked Taylor Wilde's ass. Eww...Then chunky Madison gave the always lovely & talented Victoria/Tara/Lisa Marie Varon a lip kiss. Tara always downplays her looks. This woman worked with Trish Stratus, and taught Diva's how to work, and is sexy to boot. Seems like the most underappreciated gal in the biz...Lacey did the job, and The Sickeningly Hot Beautiful People made the save. I can't imagine my old buddy Jason Knight sitting in his wrestling school and in walks Talia Madison, and says, " can you teach me how to wrestle? " Why didn't I stick around?????

Next came Tommy Dreamer in a suit. He gave a tearjerking speech straight out of The WWE Hall Of Fame to Fortune. I once called Tommy " The Innovator Of Incompetence, " in my column on Markmadden.com when he was killing himself in Philly, but I have to give the man props. All he is, is a fan that learned everything he could about wrestling and made a damn good living out of it. Anyway, Fortune attacked after the shoot style promo like The Horsemen! Who's the demographic is my question? You're breaking kayfabe and appealing to the internet & new people, and then try an old school angle? It kinda cancelled itself out to me. I am not a Russo hater, but I'd really like to book that group with all that God Damn talent.

Somehow Spanky Brian Kendrick is involved in his poor man's Brian Pillman deal and pins Matt Morgan??? What in the hell would you pin Morgan for? Kendrick can smoke all the weed he wants now, but having a push in the fed with Ezekial Jackson is a much bigger deal then making 1/4 your pay on a show that nobody watches. What are these kids thinking?

RVD did a phoner. He is over everywhere he wrestles, but he's kind of a deuche.

Then the worst part of the show. The Young Bucks/Generation Me who looked literally fifteen years old, do a heel promo on The Motor City Machine Guns. The fans didn't buy it. It screamed independent, and not in a good way, and can only hurt Sabin & Shelly. What on Earth did Desmond Wolfe & Brutus Magnus do to get out of that slot. Nigel can work his ass off, and they are believable opponents for the Guns who I think are The Next Rockers. That's very high praise from me, as they are in my top three all time teams...The Gen-Me kids are definitely talented, and deserve to do their circus shit on explosion till they gain some weight and look like wrestlers. I imagine half the crowd could kick their ass, and you don't want that. Bill Watts would strangle whoever put them out there, but whatever.

Then it was time for Hardy vs Angle and all I was thinking was if this was in WWE it could main event a PPV, and these guys gotta work in front of two or three hundred people. Match was great as expected.

I really can't watch TNA. For every good match, there is double the horseshit. Thet come her on September 24th, and I might wear a disguise just so I can see Velvet Sky in person and Kurt Angle work, but unless they get new creative, Thursday's I'll be searching for another show.